Saturday, July 19, 2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014

breadsigh:

please friendzone me. I want to be your friend so badly

Saturday, July 19, 2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014
strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat


This is how I imagine Epic Meal Time giving beauty tips
Saturday, July 19, 2014
supamuthafuckinvillain:

super-gogeta:

This is why he wanted to kick your butt Spongebob

He never forgave. He never forgot.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014

kappatain-crunch:

missin somebody a lot but not wanting to seem clingy

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Tuesday, July 15, 2014
The Mclaren’s Pub experience

iamepic:

It is no secret that I am a huge fan of the American series “How I Met Your Mother” so imagine how ecstatic I was when I found out that there was a “Mclaren’s Pub” here in the Philippines!!

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Sunday, July 13, 2014
imnotjailbait:

is she about to get shot in the head jfc
Sunday, July 6, 2014
HAHAHAHHA OH MY GOD WHY AM I LAUGHING SO MUCH 😂😂😂
Saturday, July 5, 2014

gutsmanschoiceass:

necrophilofthefuture:

did you know that phill lewis (aka mr moseby) was charged with manslaughter in 1993

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